I found Brandon Bays’ The Journey through the Tree of Life centre in Birmingham, England. Reading through their magazine, my attention was drawn to the article about a method which enables cellular healing. By then, I realised that although a lot of my past traumas started to ‘make sense’ in my head, my body was not fully aboard. I still carried a lot of fear and past trauma and often acted as if I still lived on survival mode.
In September 2011, I went to the two-day intensive training in Birmingham with trepidation. The lobby of the hotel where the event was held was packed with people. I didn’t know anyone and my impulse was to hide in some far corner while waiting for the doors to open. A woman in a green dress, who happened to be one of the journey practitioners, made eye contact with me and chatted with me for a couple of minutes. Her presence was soothing and reassuring. As I walked into the training room, my shoulders dropped a little.
The event itself had an amazing effect on the atmosphere in the building. It seemed as if love oozed out of walls. Brandon’s charisma, life journey, teaching through stories and her ability to move the energy in the room blew me away. The processes I shared with other participants were deeply healing. In short, I was hooked. Two weeks later, I was on my way to a similar event held in London. I was a trainer and my role was to put new participants at ease, just like the woman in green had done for me.
Until my son arrived in 2013, I attended several events, letting go of various traumas and past hurts. But since my son has been around, my journey work has gone even deeper. I work 1:1 with amazing women, such as Samantha Nolan-Smith and Charlotte Kanyi, who transform what used to look like crawling into giant leaps. Along with many tears, I’ve been shedding layer after layer to open up to more joy and fulfilment in my life.
So, what has been The Journey’s impact on my writing?
- As I switched from survival mode to living more fully in the present, I started connecting with my life purpose. At the Manifest Abundance retreat in Holland in 2011, I found myself voicing an impossible dream: the words ‘I want to be a published author and inspire millions’ came literally out of blue. I still need to let go of a few old patterns to truly believe these words, but I started putting one foot in front of another and walking towards writing as my true calling.
- There is another way in which The Journey has a huge impact on my writing. One of the features of The Journey process is a visualisation where at a so-called ‘camp fire’ you have an opportunity to voice things you were not able to convey in the past, due to young age or fear, for example. It is not a monologue though. At some point, you give a chance to the people involved to tell their side of the story. At first, it feels weird to imagine what the other person might say in response. But gradually, I learnt to trust the process. Whatever comes out of my or their mouth somehow feels believable and spot on. So, when I write about my childhood, it’s enough to tune into the ‘scene’ and dialogue literally pours out of me. Thanks to The Journey and to the Freefall style of writing, I have learnt to surrender to this process and go with the flow.
- Most importantly, The Journey process has taught me to regard traumatic events of my life as lessons I can learn from… and then let them go. Finally, I got that I was not my story. What I used to regard as deadly sins and unforgivable mistakes can be my salvation. Some events of my life I used to despise were simply stepping stones towards the life I have today. As a result, my whole perspective on life has shifted, allowing me to switch from guarding my secrets to writing a memoir. I do not need to hold on to the stories to ‘keep safe’. My safety now lies in exposing dark corners of my soul in order to shine my light in the world.