Q is for Queen

QQueen as in the rock band. I still love Freddie Mercury with ferocity of a teenager. My step-dad introduced me to his music when I was 13. He played his tapes on his old reel-to-reel player. The music pulled at my heartstrings. I was longing for freedom and his songs held the promise. I didn’t understand any of the words, so they spoke straight to my soul.

What I still love about Freddie is his ability to be himself. I find his interviews remarkable. He was a show man on stage, and he showed up in his life. He spoke his mind freely without trying to people-please.

I have also admired his commitment to his art. He was very ill, but he kept going. Some of his songs were more popular after he was gone. The fact that they were not immediate hits didn’t stop him.

OK, he was a handful. And he died young. But I am sure he was happier for living to his fullest potential, rather than choosing a mediocre existence to conform with the ‘normal’ lifestyle.

For years, I have been a queen of conformity. I did as I was told, I spoke as I was taught, I lived as others expected of me. Then from time to time I rebelled. I acted out openly or secretly until I got hurt again or somebody decided to tame me. Neither extreme was healthy. I was equally unhappy when conforming and acting out. I did not know at that time that what I was searching for was authentic living, the place of being true to myself and my gifts in the world.

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