I am learning a new little tool, powerful beyond measure. It’s called The Compassion Key and created by Edward Mannix.
Its simplicity is deceptive and by-passes my thinking mind. The idea is to send loving compassion to parts of ourselves which are hurting.
I was practicing it the other night. My family was asleep and without trying ‘to do it right’, I sat on a chair in a semi-dark bedroom and lavished my younger self in compassion.
- I am so sorry you are hurting.
- I am so sorry you feel misunderstood.
- I am so sorry there is so much fear in you.
- I am so sorry you dread an exposure.
The list went on and on. The phrases poured out of me without a script or an agenda. I started feeling lighter. My heart opened and I went to bed in peace.
I realised that up until now I rarely felt compassion towards my younger self. What I used to feel was… pity. Pity is very different from compassion. To me, feeling sorry for my younger self had the energy of denial. I wished those things had not happened to her.
Well, they did. Wishing it differently did not undo the harm.
Reflecting on my experience of using the Compassion Key, I notice several important things about this tool.
- There is no judgment. You feel (or felt at the time) whatever you feel. You don’t make it wrong. You don’t try to change it.
- There is a complete acceptance here. Acceptance of self, acceptance of what is, acceptance of life.
- Such acceptance does not mean condoning the bad stuff. It means acknowledging what has happened. This acknowledgment made my younger self be seen and heard in her distress. Maybe for the first time in many years.