D is for Dinara #atozchallenge

D.jpgDear Dinara,

Without a doubt, you were my first love. I was nine when you were born. Your freckled face and golden curls kept my heart in captivity for years. No, actually, it was your smile. That sweet smile that hardly left your lips.

I delighted in you so much. You were too young to be a playmate for at least several years, but you made my lonely existence bearable. I loitered around you, waiting for you to wake up so that we could crawl around. With time, you became my confidant. I told you about boys I was infatuated with at school. You kept me company when I shaved my armpits for the first time (without water and soap – ouch, it hurt!). We danced and sang together.

Then life tore us apart. We lost touch for a number of years. But when we finally met again, it was as if we never separated. Except, you now had your own daughter, a spitting image of you. Then another daughter arrived. On the outside, you seemed happy. You laughed. You had a nice husband. But as I became your confidant, I found out things that deeply unsettled me. I worry about you these days. I want to help, but unable to fix your life. There’s so much pain in there… That little innocent flower that you were is now a grown-up woman with challenges and concerns.

You are going to turn 32 in July. 32! Wow.  It’s only when I take in your age, I realise my own. I knew you when you were only a few days old… If you are 32 that makes me… Well, life goes so fast. It’s easy to waste it on struggles. When we are caught in the web of suffering, life can pass us by.

So, my beloved Dinara, I want to send you my love. May your light conquer the darkness in your life. Take it from me. It’s a choice.

With all my love,

Your cousin, xx


23 thoughts on “D is for Dinara #atozchallenge

  1. So heart-felt Gulara thank you … it is sad to see suffering anywhere but especially in those we have loved for a long long time. May Dinara catch a ray of your light and somehow know that she is dear to you …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Another lovely letter that somehow captures the universality of friendship (although I realize this is about your cousin). I too have some friends that even though we may not see each other for years, when we do it’s as if no time has passed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I truly LOVE your Love stories, Gulara. How special to have such a delightful connection with your cousin. I hope you can help provide her with support through her dark times. You are a dear person and friend! Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is a gorgeous letter, Gulara. How appreciative you sound of Dinara. How appreciative she must be of you. The nine years age gap – such a large one when you were children, but you crossed it. Not such a big one now. Can you cross it? Best wishes to both of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Gulara, I’m sure your strength and courage encourage her, especially as she knows at least some of your struggles inside out. There are so many people close to me that I know are deeply troubled and it’s so hard to know how to respond. At the same time, there is an element of choice in all of that. So often, we can shoot ourselves in the foot and make things worse rather than looking after ourselves. Not only being kind but making the hard choices. I hope she’s okay.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think sometimes is the most valuable thing we can do is just stand a witness to their struggles. When she shares, she often wants to be heard. She is not after a quick fix. I must admit, sometimes, I try to offer her an impromptu session or alleviate her pain in some way or another, only to realise that I’m struggling to tolerate my own pain. I hope she’s okay too. xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • It can be very hard to know quite what to do and I’m quite conscious that as I channel so much energy into the challenge, that a few friends are doing it tough and I’m off the air. However, I don’t do it very often.
        Take care xx Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

      • This challenge can take as much energy as we put in it. As much as I enjoy it, I’m anxiously counting the days till the end of April 😀 I look forward to reclaiming my life back.


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