Without a doubt, you were my first love. I was nine when you were born. Your freckled face and golden curls kept my heart in captivity for years. No, actually, it was your smile. That sweet smile that hardly left your lips.
I delighted in you so much. You were too young to be a playmate for at least several years, but you made my lonely existence bearable. I loitered around you, waiting for you to wake up so that we could crawl around. With time, you became my confidant. I told you about boys I was infatuated with at school. You kept me company when I shaved my armpits for the first time (without water and soap – ouch, it hurt!). We danced and sang together.
Then life tore us apart. We lost touch for a number of years. But when we finally met again, it was as if we never separated. Except, you now had your own daughter, a spitting image of you. Then another daughter arrived. On the outside, you seemed happy. You laughed. You had a nice husband. But as I became your confidant, I found out things that deeply unsettled me. I worry about you these days. I want to help, but unable to fix your life. There’s so much pain in there… That little innocent flower that you were is now a grown-up woman with challenges and concerns.
You are going to turn 32 in July. 32! Wow. It’s only when I take in your age, I realise my own. I knew you when you were only a few days old… If you are 32 that makes me… Well, life goes so fast. It’s easy to waste it on struggles. When we are caught in the web of suffering, life can pass us by.
So, my beloved Dinara, I want to send you my love. May your light conquer the darkness in your life. Take it from me. It’s a choice.
With all my love,
Your cousin, xx