Healing Scars Left by Disappointment and Rejection

IMG_6943.JPGToday’s post is very different from anything I’ve done before. I hope you can join me on today’s journey to heal wounds left by disappointment and rejection. Some of you may have seen my post from earlier this week in which I discussed the mindset when we submit work, apply for jobs, etc. A lot of people resonated with the post as reflected in the comments. So, I decided to offer some compassion statements based on those comments to clear any inner blocks caused by rejection and disappointment. Initially, I was planning to do an audio recording, but my dental surgery on Tuesday left me aching and this is the best I can do right now. Please join me on this adventure.

All you need to do is to take a couple of comfortable breaths in your belly. Do it now, if you can. Bring your attention to your heart centre and solar plexus. Imagine warm heart energy emanating from your heart centre. Then repeat the phrases after me (or you can read them below). If there’s a block, your self-compassion will clear it. If a statement doesn’t resonate, it won’t do any harm. Give it a go! You may be pleasantly surprised. Are you still with me?

If you prefer to read the statements yourself, please, take a moment to ground yourself. Feel your feet on the floor, shake off any tension you may be holding in your body. Take a nice comfortable breath in and sigh it out. Focus on your heart centre and solar plexus, imagine giving yourself your warm heart-energy, and say each phrase out loud:

  • On rejection:
    • I’m so sorry you were rejected.
    • I’m so sorry they rejected you.
    • I’m so sorry no one is perfect.
    • I’m so sorry that you fear rejection even before you’ve applied for something.
    • I’m so sorry that you don’t even try to put yourself out anymore.
    • I’m so sorry you set yourself up for failure.
    • I’m so sorry rejection is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    • I’m so sorry that it’s difficult to be kind to yourself when you are rejected.
    • I’m so sorry this is such a familiar territory.
    • I’m so sorry success just means higher-level let-downs.
    • I’m so sorry it’s not safe to succeed.
    • I’m so sorry that you can’t stay detached from the outcome.
    • I’m so sorry that to reach a goal you have to walk a difficult path.

     

  • On disappointment:
    • I’m so sorry that you are disappointed.
    • I’m so sorry that you’ve been wearing a mantle of disappointment for so long.
    • I’m so sorry that this mantle of disappointment turned into the second skin.
    • I’m so sorry anticipated disappointment is sitting on your shoulders and weighting you down.
    • I’m so sorry you brace yourself for potential disappointment.
    • I’m so sorry you hold your breath while waiting for the outcome.
    • I’m so sorry you are shamed by your hopes sometimes.
    • I’m so sorry it’s difficult to acknowledge disappointment.
    • I’m so sorry you feel unworthy at times.
    • I’m so sorry that every rejection and disappointment proves that you were not good enough.
    • I’m so sorry that disappointment brings you down.
    • I’m so sorry that you don’t recognise the good that appears if it takes a shape different from that you were hoping for.
    • I’m so sorry you may have many more days of rejection ahead of you.
    • I’m so sorry it’s difficult to stay open in the face of rejection and disappointment.

     

That’s it. Take a nice deep breath. How are you feeling? Which phrases resonated strongly with you? Let me know in the comments box below. I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

 

31 thoughts on “Healing Scars Left by Disappointment and Rejection

  1. Thank you for compiling this list, Gulara. I think you have covered everything. I’m not sure just which ones in particular resonate, but I certainly have to keep reminding myself that nobody is perfect. Including me.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you so much for your feedback Norah. As always, I greatly appreciate your support.
      I agree nobody is perfect, me included. We have really good aspects and not so good ones. Yet sometimes if we hold that belief people who show up in our field tend to show us those imperfect aspects of themselves. When we give ourselves self-compassion for that, we can dissipate that pattern and people naturally tend to show the their better aspects. I don’t say this applies to you as such, and sorry if I got too woo-woo on you 🙂 Just saying. 😀 I very much appreciate you!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I do resonate with ‘nobody is perfect’ and that it is ok. I also believe in the importance of self-compassion. Although for me this is not ‘woo-woo’, at the same time I think I’m just to ‘down-to-earth’ for this methode 😉 Meditation, yoga is also not ‘my thing’, I use walking the dogs and gardening or listening to music and singing along as a substitute.
    And that’s ok too..isn’t it?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, it’s more than OK, Patty. Walking the dogs, gardening, music and singing are the best healers. They bring us into state of natural balance without us even trying. I love all of those things (except I walk with my kids) and I could very happily live doing nothing but those things. At the same time, there’s a place for these methods. For example, for me, often rejection has very little to do with the present day situation, but rather it’s a disproportionate response to being rejected in the past as a child. The more I heal that child by sending her compassion, the less that disproportionate response to feeling rejected. When I felt rejected by my dad as a child, I didn’t have capacity to deal with it. I do now and this is where these methods can be useful. 🙂 And I’m absolutely fine that it’s not your thing. I love you very much!

      Liked by 2 people

      • I recognize that feeling of rejection, thanks to your blogs I realized I need(ed) to mourn for my Inner Child and find a way to let it go.
        I’ll get there 😉 Especially with beautiful souls like you by my side.
        Love you too, dear Gulara!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. “I’m so sorry that you don’t recognise the good that appears if it takes a shape different from that you were hoping for.”

    This one could be the subtext for my younger self. I was so focused on the leaves on the trees, that I never even noticed the trees, let alone the forest. Not so much like that anymore, but it’s a good reminder to be grateful for how far I’ve come.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Boy, Gulara, I can’t say that all the statements resonated with me, but most of them did because of all that is currently taking place in my life. The voices from my past are clearly going wild. I think I’ll keep your list to read over and over to calm the voices in my head and for general support. THANK YOU for putting this list together!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Gwynn, your words mean the world to me! I’ll do an audio when I’m better. It’s amazing how something as simple as saying these phrases can dissipate held-in patterns and beliefs. More to come! As always, thank you so much for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is all very powerful Gulara thank you – I haven’t read them out aloud which is what I want to do, so will repost back tomorrow. It’s a public holiday here in SA and it’s been a busy day – I’ll get back to you tomorrow when I can give this my FULL attention –

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I did the exercise now this morning Gulara. I’m glad I waited until now when all is quiet for the moment. Sorry is sometimes the hardest word to say, and even harder to say it our ourselves. They all resonate with me in some way, and it was valuable to have them acknowledged in your writing them. If I absolutely had to choose a phrase it would be: ‘I’m so sorry that you don’t even try to put yourself out (there) anymore’ and all that this encompasses … Thank you! And have a lovely weekend! 🙂 🙂 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m so touched, Susan, you took time to do this. My heart overflows with gratitude and appreciation. It’s interesting, isn’t it that sometimes we don’t even know that we are holding back. I’m glad it was a useful exercise. Thank you so-so much again and have a lovely w/e too.xxx 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This was so interesting! I really felt the warmth in my chest, and I felt something ‘give’ when I got about halfway through the list. Disappointment and rejection are part of the author’s lot, so it was nice to articulate and, hopefully, get past them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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