Mind The Confidence Gap

IMG_7347.JPGI was watching my baby girl walk this morning. She’s getting really confident on her feet. Only a month or two ago she would make one or two steps, fall down, get up and try again, and again. Nowadays, she charges from room to room, and I can barely keep up with her.

Observing how far my baby girl has come in such a short period of time, I thought how similar writing and walking are. How? In my post about self-confidence earlier this week, I mentioned that to write (or to walk), we need to be willing to fall down. Unless we are willing to write a rubbish first draft, the chances of creating a masterpiece are significantly reduced. We start procrastinating and waste our time on waiting for perfect conditions before we carry on with our project.

Here are some compassion phrases to help with resistance, self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence. Remember, these are not affirmations. The purpose of these statements is to dissolve any blocks and unhealthy patterns.

Would you join me for a short healing meditation?


If you prefer to read the statements, please take a couple of breaths to ground yourself, bring your attention to your heart-centre and solar plexus, and give yourself warm heart energy.

  • I’m so sorry you feel so insecure
  • I’m so sorry you doubt your ability to write well
  • I’m so sorry you give yourself a hard time for not doing better
  • I’m so sorry you compare yourself unfavourably with other people
  • I’m so sorry you are anxious you haven’t got all the answers
  • I’m so sorry that you rely heavily on external validation in order to boost your confidence
  • I’m so sorry you procrastinate
  • I’m so sorry you feel overwhelmed
  • I’m so sorry you are easily discouraged
  • I’m so sorry you sit on the sidelines and expect to win the game
  • I’m so sorry it takes you longer to learn things others already know
  • I’m so sorry you don’t just ‘get on’ with it
  • I’m so sorry that other things you have to do get in the way of your writing.

That’s it for now. Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth; bring your attention to your feet on the ground; and have a glass of water as soon as possible.

So, how was it? Let me know below, please.


17 thoughts on “Mind The Confidence Gap

  1. Indeed, Gulara, we have to be willing to fall in order to stand tall in anything we do. Moving past the moment is hard, and the short chants help along with the disciplined breathing. Thank you for the reminder. We can do it, if only we’re willing to take another shaky step, then another. As in your daughter’s story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m keeping this list handy at all times. The big one for me is the feeling of being overwhelmed, but just seeing that affirmation in print is surprisingly helpful! (Thank you.)

    As for the rubbish first draft – preach it, sister! I am the Queen of the rubbish first draft, but I know I’ll eventually work through it. Writing wouldn’t be half so interesting, I think, if everything came out perfectly in the first draft.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Being overwhelmed can definitely get in the way of writing. Try giving yourself compassion the next time you experience it. Oh, and I’m writing a post about feeling overwhelmed 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Interesting… One of these hit me right in the solar plexus. And not in a good way. (Well, it’s all in a good way if you’re becoming aware of something, in my opinion.) “I’m so sorry you sit on the sidelines and expect to win the game” Yes. That.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for giving it a go, Sarah, so grateful. This is the magic of the compassion key – it can dissipate those feelings we are holding in our bodies. I really appreciate your comment, Sarah.


    • Hi Ro, first, thank you for giving it a go. This technique is called Compassion Key. It’s very simple (as you’ve experienced, just saying ‘I’m so sorry …’ and meaning it). Now when we say I’m ‘so sorry’ we acknowledge the pain, whether it’s thoughts, emotions or physical sensations. The statements I offer in my post usually reflect what’s going for people now and aim to dissipate some of those patterns. It sounds like they might have triggered something deeper in you, because let’s face it, many of those patterns establish when we are very young and then play out one way or another. Here are a couple of things you can do:
      1. You could drop me a line about the nature of fire you are breathing (my email is gularav@gmail.com). We can chat about it on Skype or if there’s anything else I can do to offer support, I’m up for it!
      2. You could carry on giving yourself more compassion for whatever is coming up. For example, if there’s a memory that got triggered, you could give yourself compassion for what you felt at that time.
      3. There’s another technique I use called The Non-Personal Awareness. It gently moves energy and brings sense of relief, freedom and/or liberation. The words that have a lot of energy here is ‘breathing fire’. Again, incredibly simple, but within a few minutes it can shift a major pattern. It goes like this:
      ‘This breathing fire
      This energy of breathing fire
      This pure energy of breathing fire is not personal
      This pure energy of breathing fire is not personal
      This pure energy of breathing fire is not personal
      And I am willing to experience it.’

      None of these options are mutually exclusive, and they are also suggestions. 🙂 I trust that you’ll do what serves you best. Have a wonderful day. Gulara xx

      Liked by 1 person

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