For many years, I used to have a variant of this conversation with many people.
‘What do you do?’ I was asked.
‘I’m a PhD student in law’ or more recently ‘I teach law at university.’
‘You must be very clever,’ was people’s standard response.
‘No, I’m just hard-working,’ I used to say.
And I meant it. It wasn’t false modesty. I was brought up to believe that to achieve things in life, I had to work hard. I didn’t disappoint and worked my socks off. Coming from a poor family and being a girl, I believed I had to work twice as hard to achieve half as much. So, if I wanted something in life, I set a goal and worked my way towards it… like a tank. And I got there. I achieved a lot. But now looking back I wonder whether I made it unnecessarily hard on myself. You see, beliefs can become self-fulfilling. Believing it has to be hard meant that I missed out on shortcuts or offers of help. I struggled when I didn’t have to. I accidentally blocked the flow.
It was as if I prided myself on getting things the hard way.
If you resonate, I’ve got news for you. It’s not better if getting what you want is hard work. It’s just… harder.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not proposing ‘new-agey’ let’s manifest the life of our dreams without lifting a finger. I still think we need to do the work, but let’s shed this false belief about the link between its value and how hard we have to work.
It can be easy. It can be satisfying. It can be joyful.
What about you, dear reader? Have you found a way to make the writing journey easier on you? Please, share.
P.S. Did you know that I offer 1:1 sessions to women writers to release inner blocks and patterns to make their writing journey easier and more enjoyable. Here’s what one of my recent clients said:
I had my session with Gulara to address how hard I was being on myself and the impact it was having on me. I was going round in circles. In the session, I found myself tackling long held issue I had been carrying for years and years. I instantly felt at ease in Gulara’s hands. She was professional and calm and I felt safe. This proved to be very important because we went deep. The power of the simple approach was incredible – I knew instantly from my emotional response when Gulara had identified a component of my experience that was in need of attention. With her careful listening, she did this over and over. We went at a steady pace, that gave me a chance to pause, whilst still remain in the flow state she created. At the end of the session, I felt a huge sense of peace and that the visualisation she had guided me through, letting go of that long-held onto idea, had had a physical effect on me, mentally and physically. It now feels resolved, something I didn’t think was possible. Thank you Gulara. Suzy, England
Would you like to make your writing journey easier on you? I’ve got spaces for three new clients. You can apply here.