Change Your Story, Change Your Life

IMG_7439.JPGChange your story, change your life.

Have you heard this expression before? Sounds simple, doesn’t it. But simple is not always easy. And which stories do we need to change in order to transform our lives?

In my experience, everything we tell ourselves and others is a story. Yes, there’s often a factual basis for that story, but the way we re-tell it over and over again (often unconsciously) have a potential of becoming a pattern that plays out every time we put ourselves in a similar situation. Have you noticed how often there’s a certain scenario that plays out in your life again and again. It’s as if that story ‘needs’ a happy-ending.

Earlier this week I wrote about the pattern of working hard in life. It’s an example of a story I told myself: I have to work hard to get things in life; those things I got through hard work were more valuable somehow; etc. etc. etc. I tried to change this story for many years, because working at that rate wasn’t sustainable, but it’s only through doing the inner work, I was able to shift this pattern. When we change our inner story, our external circumstances transform and reflect the new story. Here’s what one of my clients said recently:

“The tangible effect of Gulara’s work with me is captured in a transformation that occurred in my workplace. Over the past year or so I had a somewhat emotionally fraught relationship with my boss. There was a lot of tension, some face-to-face arguments, a few emails with thinly-disguised passive aggressive messages from both sides. I felt diminished, cornered, undermined, undervalued. In simple terms, I thought she hated me, sought out opportunities to find flaws in my work, to prove I wasn’t a good enough colleague. I was stressed out that she was interfering with my development opportunities by dictating what I was allowed to do and on which terms. I felt under a constant pressure to prove I was good and frightened that I would fail to win this battle.

Gulara’s help was like a divine intervention. After we’ve “processed” my issues, everything changed. There was no need to clear the air with my boss. It was much more transformational and directly effective. I don’t feel stressed out when I write to her. She has made a few really positive comments on my work and now accompanies her messages to me with smiley faces! I can share jokes and feel confident enough to seek her advice when needed. Most importantly, I don’t feel any of the previous fear, anxiety, tension. Most importantly, this change did not require many long sessions. The results could be seen almost immediately. Maya, University Lecturer

As writers, we know the power of stories. After all, some of us create and destroy worlds day in and day out. The stories we tell our readers can be so convincing. Our inner stories are no different, and some of them could do with a serious editing.

Would you join me for a short healing meditation to shift some of those patterns?

 

If you prefer to read the statements, please take a couple of breaths to ground yourself, bring your attention to your heart-centre and solar plexus, and give yourself warm heart energy, while reading out the statements (preferably out loud).

  • I’m so sorry you were so hard on yourself.
  • I’m so sorry you accidentally blocked your ability to achieve your goals.
  • I’m so sorry you were told you were not important or even smart.
  • I’m so sorry you believed you were doomed to fail.
  • I’m so sorry you stood no chance when competing with them.
  • I’m so sorry it was always hard work and not raw talent that got you anywhere in life.
  • I’m so sorry it’s in your genes to work hard.
  • I’m so sorry sometimes you overcomplicate things.
  • I’m so sorry you are running yourself into the ground.
  • I’m so sorry that sometimes you make things harder than they need to be.
  • I’m so sorry you believed you were hard-working and not naturally intelligent.
  • I’m so sorry you take more pride in those achievements which were difficult to attain.
  • I’m so sorry you believed that true success is hard to attain.

That’s it for now. Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth; bring your attention to your feet on the ground; and have a glass of water as soon as possible.

 

21 thoughts on “Change Your Story, Change Your Life

    • Thank you so much for taking part, Susan, I’m so grateful. And I’m so glad you changed the words. I prepare the statements based on people’s comments which means that not every statement resonates with everybody, and changing words to your own is the best way to proceed. So glad you did it naturally. I’ll add a note for others in my next post. Many-many thanks for all your support! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The meditation is great. Thanks. I sometimes wonder if the reason I started a blog is because I wanted to change how I think about my stories. That is, not allow myself to be stuck in a negative story, but to spin it happier/grounded/insightful by processing what happened to me via the telling online. Kind of meta, eh? [Or maybe I started a blog because I like to babble. There’s always that.]

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Another great post! I think this is something writing really helps me with – the story of my life at times may be difficult but writing helps me to look forward to that happy ending and see today’s challenges as a chapter in that bigger story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gwynn, you are an amazing and capable person. I know you through your blog, and my sense is you have overcome so much in your life, raised a beautiful family, helped many other children who were hungry for love and support – I can keep going. You don’t need to prove this to yourself – your light shines brighter than you know. Sending you a big hug. Hope your health is improving. Have a wonderful week.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are so wonderful Gulara. However, as you say, the stories we tell ourselves need to be changed, as does my story. How you see me and sometimes how I see me, don’t match, but my story should match what you see about me. This is what I need to work on, especially right now. As for my health, it MAY be that my right hip and right knee need surgery. I’m praying there is an alternative especially since I am still caregiving for my husband. I see the specialists Aug. 2. The doctors keep finding more wrong with him, but at the same time, with the help of the doctors he is getting a bit better. This has been a very long and unexpected journey. Thanks for being a friend!

        Liked by 1 person

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