How to Transform Your Experience of Giving Birth from the Inside Out


‘Unfinished business’ from the past can block your dreams. I learnt this lesson the hard-way through child birth, and here’s how my journey began.

In November 2012, I was attending a Journey reunion in Birmingham. I was really into the Journey, a method of cellular healing developed by Brandon Bays, and these meetings gave me an opportunity to meet other people who knew this method too. We took turns to swap and give each other some free support. Each meeting had a practitioner who told us about their Journey path: what brought them here and how the Journey transformed their lives. As I sat on a chair listening to the speaker that day, I stroked my belly feeling slight movements of my baby. I was 18 weeks pregnant with a long-awaited baby. The speaker’s voice soothed me, and watching her face framed with long dark hair, I softened in response.

That speaker was Charlotte Kanyi.

I am not going to recount her story here because it’s hers to tell, but it touched me so much that I approached her during the break and started talking about her business. I had seen her business cards on the stalls during every re-union, and even took it home on one or two occasions, but never dared to speak to her before.

‘I have some anxiety around childbirth,’ I said. By then I’d been attending workshops in Stroud to do some ‘birth works’, a process which explored our own birth experience and also explained how birth impacts the child. It was in one of those workshops that the facilitator explained that women who have past sexual trauma may struggle giving birth naturally. The cells remember the invasion and may clamp up in response to the pain caused by a child trying to exit. To me, this was not the time to deal with past sexual trauma. My focus was on delivering my baby into the world, not dwelling on painful memories. It was better left untouched for now, I told myself, even though deep down I was still worried that past trauma can impact my chances of giving birth as naturally as possible.

To read the rest of this post, please, visit Charlotte Kanyi’s blog.

9 thoughts on “How to Transform Your Experience of Giving Birth from the Inside Out

  1. Gulara, this is a beautiful story, and a wonderful lesson. A friend and I were talking about our experiences both in utero and when we were pregnant about the stress and worries that we deal with when pregnant. In fact, my daughter-in-law is dealing with extreme anxiety now, after the birth of their second child. Watching these situations rips my heart out.

    I’m so VERY glad that you went to get help with your anxiety. Out of curiosity, do you notice a difference in how your children deal with anxiety after their births? Did they pick up your anxiety or calmness? What a child picks up from their mom while they are in utero is significant too.

    I LOVE your success stories! Good for you!


    • Thank you dear, Gwynn, I definitely note a difference. My younger one is much calmer. There’s a child’s personality of course, but I think because I was calmer, my younger one was calmer and because she was calmer, I was calmer, if that makes sense 🙂 There’s so much anxiety tied to childbirth and beyond. Support is essential. My heart goes out to your daughter-in-law, Gwynn. Those experiences set us up for life. And for women… we may not remember many things, but I can recount every second of each birth, it’s something I will never ever forget, and how it goes is so important for us as women… As always, thank you for reading. Big hug.xx


  2. Birth gave me the opportunity to reclaim my body and reject authority that didn’t have my best interest in mind. I had midwives and that was what I needed. I never thought about it before, but I did finish my business in those three moments and perhaps that’s what gave me the strength to go on and break the cycle of abuse for my family. It felt empowering.


    • Your words radiate the empowerment you got through the experience of birth. Thank you so much for sharing, Charli. The impact of birth on us as women, mothers, wives is enormous, and often overlooked. So glad you had such a positive experience.


    • Thank you, Susan, for reading, commenting and your kind words about the photo. It was a beautiful experience. Birth stories are so important, aren’t they. I can forget many things in life, but every second of those two births will be with me forever.


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