Do You Dare to Want What You Want?

Want what you want!

Do you know what exactly you want to be, do and have in life? Do you even dare to know? In my own experience, people often know very clearly what they don’t want. But ask them what they do want, and they can often feel  stumped. Me included.

I’ve been asking this question repeatedly since mid-December. 2017 is an important year for me. So before the year kicked in, I tried my best to figure out how I want to live my year. What do I want more of in my life? What needs to go?

It turns out those are dangerous questions to ask. Because sometimes the answers may come not in the form you anticipated.

I was chatting to a friend recently, and she said something that didn’t sit quite right with me.

‘People hate change,’ she said.

In my mind, I disagreed. Of course, you want to change something that’s not working. Personally, I face all the stuff that’s not working on a regular basis.

But it’s one thing to look at the discomfort which comes to the surface, and another thing to introduce a major change into your life. This dilemma reminded me of another instance in my life when I got really clear on my wants.

I was on my second maternity leave, and we had an idea to take off and settle somewhere warm for a while.

‘This is the time of our lives. I’ve got this freedom. Let’s do something.’

After brainstorming with my husband, I got pretty clear on what was important to me. I wanted to live somewhere warm, near an ocean, with a heartful community and people we could relate to. We even had a place in mind: La Gomera. My husband visited an amazing community there many years ago and loved it so much that we considered moving there.

For six

It felt exciting beyond measure. Imagine having a retreat for six months. Waking up to do meditation, yoga or dance every morning. Eat avocados from trees and having a nurturing live food done for you every day. Imagine sitting by the ocean and sometimes even diving in. Every day. For six months. Ah, bliss.

But wait. We had to promptly wake up, because we had to hand in 2 month notice to my son’s nursery and chances were we’d loose his place upon our return. And what about the house? OK, we could rent it out, but all the stuff we have? Oh, and don’t forget about the car. Wait a minute, and how much this whole thing will cost? Oh, no, that’s not feasible. So before we knew it we were thinking of going there for a month, which turned into a week, and then disappeared into non-existence.

Having what we really want sometimes requires an effort.

Is it worth it? How much do you want what you really really want? And do you want it with your head, because somehow it sounds like a good idea? Or is it your heart and soul longing for that thing….

Food for thought…

Photo credit: With thanks to Google images.


10 thoughts on “Do You Dare to Want What You Want?

    • Thank you for reading and commenting, Norah. Yes, I guess the first question is what do we really want. I’ll probably write about it because when I asked it recently, the answer came from my head and only through dropping deeper I had a clearer sense of what I truly desire. The second aspect is taking action. What we really want doesn’t ‘just’ happen. Of course, we can manifest things, etc… And to make clear, I don’t mean it has to be hard work, but we need to be prepared to take action. Anyway, I’m sitting with all these questions myself. 🙂 I hope you are well. Thank you for joining the conversation.


  1. Just this weekend I was thinking: “Is the heart+soul the Yin and the mind our Yang? Did our mind became to protective, that we don’t dare to follow our real wishes/dream any longer?”
    Maybe it is something in the air, the time of year, or we have been telepathic Gulara,…but indeed! Food for thought 🙂


    • Oh, I love syncronicities, Patty, I feel I then tap into a collective field and my writing has a different level of resonance. So glad we are on the same wavelength 🙂 And many thanks for reading.


  2. The other question is not only is it what we really want, but also are we willing to work for it and how will it impact our lives?

    I have made some rather serious mistakes in my life. I have chosen things that I thought would help me in life, when in fact they didn’t. My other mistake was giving up on myself. But, we don’t learn without making these mistakes. At this point in my life, I worry that my dreams will go POOF!! On the other hand, I never knew what I wanted when I grew up and life is VERY different these days from the old days. Are my dreams still an option?? I guess I’ll find out eventually!

    I’ll be curious as to what you decide about your dreams, and what you choose to do. Wishing you good luck and positive vibes!


    • Dear Gwynn, yes, dreams require work. It’s all well to say I want to be a published author (in my case), and it’s another to actually find time and do it. I’m thinking a lot about dreams at the moment, and came to realise that some of them come from my head because it sounds like a good idea, but that’s not exactly what my being wants. I’m going to write more on that, and your encouragement is very helpful.
      It’s never too late for dreams, Gwynn, you just never know… Big hug!


    • Change is scary. I thought I was super comfortable with change until recently, and now I’m not so sure…. Baby steps 🙂 Hope you are well. Thank you for stopping by.


  3. Change takes time. Real changes. In our lives and in the world. I think we need to accept that no real important change happens overnight.
    Anything we desire is both hard to obtain but also the source of pure joy. I’m mostly talking of creative desire here. The constant effort is tiring but also wonderful.
    If we look at societies and the way they have changed it seems very slow and yet at some point we get there. The relentless walk is what makes change happen, I think.
    So good to read you, Gulara.


    • Thank you, Evelyne, so much gratitude for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment. Yes, real change takes time. I’m quite impatient by nature, but I have learnt this lesson in life. Keep walking and with time change will happen. Sometimes it’s so gradual we forget how far we’ve come (well, I do 🙂 ) I hope you are well.


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