I’m standing in a shop staring at the most exquisite piece of clothing I’ve ever seen. It’s the colour of milk chocolate and has silky texture.
I’m 18 and there is nothing I had wanted more in my entire life than this pair of trousers with legs so wide that they could be mistaken for a skirt. The trousers are long, probably ankle-length, so modest enough for me to wear to work. Normally, I’m not allowed to wear trousers. My family is too conservative for these frivolities. But this…. Perhaps this could be an exception.
Except, I don’t have the money.
They cost 90 USD. Even if I worked for months at the prosecutor’s office where I’m a typist, I won’t be able to make that kind of money. Besides, I give all my earnings to my grandma and then have to ask for my bus fare back. It’s not like I could ask her for that amount. She’d think I’m crazy to spend that much on clothing. She’d rather buy me an ironing board or something else I might need as a part of my dowry.
I walk home in tears saying a mental goodbye to the trousers. In that moment, I let go. It wasn’t meant to be….
That night I go to bed early. I fall asleep instantly, only to be awakened by an unexpected noise a couple of hours later. The iron gates outside of my windows are banging. What’s going on? I run downstairs and to my utter surprise my younger uncle is closing the gates. It’s well after midnight and for a moment I think I’m still dreaming. My uncle lives in Moscow and hasn’t visited for the past three years. After hugging each other and doing a double take on his presence, he surprises me again by pressing something into my palm. It’s only when I’m in the house I open my palm.
I’m holding a 100 USD bill.
Never before (or after) did my uncle give me money. Tears stream down my face and I don’t know whether to thank my uncle or the universe.
Needless to say, the next morning I got my precious trousers.
I remember this experience so vividly for a simple reason:
When we ask universe for what we want and surrender, it delivers.
My problem was (and has been for a long time) that I try to work out solutions with my mind. Mind is great, I love my mind. But mind can offer only a limited range of solutions.
When we release attachment to the outcome and ask for help, the universe can deliver in unexpected ways.
I know, it’s easier said than done sometimes, but it’s possible. Personally, I’m in the process of re-learning the art of letting go. I’ve been trying to control pretty much every aspect of my life and having ideas about what should happen to my book, business, work, life. Frankly, none of those areas has been working very well lately. So I’m releasing my attachment to having it my way, and surrendering to the Universe and to my highest self to lead the way. My mind got me this far, but to move forward in life, I need to let go.
Have you had experience of wanting something so badly you couldn’t stop thinking about it? What did you do? Did you get it? Were you able to manifest it in an unexpected way which turned out to be way better than any ideas conjured up by your mind?
Please share, I’d love to hear from you.