In 2011, I did a year-long ongoing group in Devon, called Movement of Being. It’s hard to explain the essence of this work, but I’ll boil it down to this:
When you allow yourself to be, just be, with no distractions or agenda, things bubble up to surface and there’s an opportunity to examine and explore long-buried feelings.
I remember vividly one exercise that we did. The invitation was to embody various parts of ourselves. Some of them felt familiar, others took me by surprise. The point was to see that those parts are not who we are. You can identify with a specific part and get carried away, but that’s not your essence.
Anyway, the first part I embodied was a ‘headless chicken’. Its familiarity felt comfortable; the busyness and chaos it created looked self-important. I still slip into the ‘headless chicken’ mode at times, running around unproductively and distracting myself.
But the second part that came through didn’t feel like me at all. I sat back in an imaginary reclining armchair somewhere on a beach.
‘Oi, move along, you are obscuring my view,’ I grumbled at someone.
‘And you,’ I clicked my fingers, ‘get me some latte. Oh, and make it extra hot.’
I’m not sure whether I vocalised that the next thing I wanted was for a topless good-looking waiter to bring my cocktail, but I suddenly I became aware that the people in my group were stunned by my transformation: I was such a diva!
Here’s the thing: I do have that part. I don’t let her out much, because I fear that people will roll their eyes and judge me, but she’s there, buried underneath the parts which are more palatable to people around me.
It’s possible to hide those parts, even from yourself, but chances are she’ll find a way to run the show. If you don’t accept and express parts of yourself which want to be seen, their shadow will seep out somehow, normally when you least expect them.
It’s simple (not easy): self-acceptance.
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