One of my favourite activities in life is walking in nature. When my kids are off school, we spend a lot of time outdoors in local parks. Inevitably, we meet dogwalkers. Most dogs here are friendly, and I had a period when my son wanted to pet every single dog in the neighbourhood. He used to run up to dog owners and ask sweetly whether it’s OK to stroke their dogs.
Then last summer we were in Azerbaijan. A pack of wild dogs appeared from nowhere and got quite close to the playground where my son was playing with his cousins. I saw them in time and got between him and the dogs. He didn’t get harmed in any way, but he must have felt my adrenaline rush. It was a jolt for me, because frankly I forgot all about the fact that unfortunately there’re some abandoned dogs in Azerbaijan who fend for themselves.
Needless to say, my son has been nervous around dogs ever since. So, when we go for walks nowadays and encounter a big dog, his body language betrays his anxiety: he freezes or hugs my body, holds his breath and waits for the dog to walk away before he can relax and regain his composure.
The dog-owners don’t get it. ‘Don’t worry, this dog is friendly,’ they often say, puzzled by his reaction. I think he knows that intellectually. He had a year to recover from that experience, and he understands that there are no wild dogs in England. But his body doesn’t get it. The fear got locked in somewhere in his system, and no matter how many times I reassure him, he hasn’t managed to release it.
The reason I’m sharing this story is because the same is true of feeling ‘not good enough’ or any other negative self-beliefs you may have about yourself.
You can know intellectually that you are good enough. People may give you positive feedback and reassure you. But so long as you carry the old triggers in your system, the feeling keeps coming back.
As one of the people said in response to my recent survey on ‘Feeling Good Enough’:
“Consciously, I don’t feel especially not good enough, because I get good feedback from various sources (clients/trainers/mentors etc) a lot of the time. But I am aware I do have these patterns, as we all do, and that they keep me playing it safe.”
Exactly! Feeling ‘good enough’ is not a conscious decision. With all the will in the world, if you have old fears lodged into your system, it’s hard to believe the truth that you are already enough. One way to change that is to heal those fears, self-doubts and limiting beliefs.
I’m running a free call on Overcoming Perfectionism on 26 October at 2:00pm UK time. Would you like to join me on this exploration? If so, please, register at this link and please, fill in this short survey
P.S. Don’t want to wait that long? Then check out my home-study programme – it’s jam-packed with powerful healing and will help you to release your fears of failure, exposure, success and so much more. This course will help you to clear the way to your dreams. you can find it here>
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